To Die by Your Side is Such a Heavenly Way to Die
by prongsstolemyhart
Summary: A collection of drabbles written in response to prompts given on tumblr. Chapter 4 - James can't remember her.
1. Daisy Chains and Chocolate Frogs

**Originally written because I was given the prompt: Little James and Little Lily meeting as kids with James figuring out that Lily's a witch (instead of Snape meeting Lily in The Prince's Tale) on tumblr. But also written with the prompts 'Young' (OTP BC Challenge), 'What If' (Favourite Hogwarts House BC Challenge) and 'Day of Change' (If You Dare Challenge) in mind.**

**Disclaimer - Harry Potter is not mine.**

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Lily Evans was a witch. Not in the fairytale, green skinned, warty nosed kind of way that were in all of his picture books, but an honest to Merlin, able to do magic witch.

James was sure of it. After many hours of observation, he was convinced that the weird red head in his class at school was not an ordinary Muggle. Another thing he was sure of, was that Evans had no idea about what she actually was.

The suspicion had started the first time he'd seen her on the playground at their primary school. She'd been sitting at the edge of the faded tarmac, her hands busy making daisy chains as she chatted with a girl a few years older than she was. As he'd watched (she had nice hair and pretty eyes, he couldn't help himself) Evans had let go of the daisy chain in order to gesture with her hands and the flowers had stayed floating in the air.

"Lily," the older girl had shrieked, drawing the attention of the small gathering of people who were playing football. The red head had immediately dropped the flowers into her lap and rolled her eyes. "Mummy told you not to do that."

"Stop being so over dramatic, Tuney. No one saw." Evans had answered, letting the daises fall to the floor as she got to her feet, brushing the grass from her skirt. As she'd walked back towards their classroom, she'd caught him looking at her and she'd hurried into the building, glancing nervously back at him as she reached the door.

—

From that point on, he'd made it a priority to keep an eye on her. Not because he liked her, he didn't; she was bossy, and a know-it-all, and she went out of her way to outdo him whenever possible purely because she knew it annoyed him. He did it because he'd never met a Muggleborn before and because he was an extremely curious individual.

The next indicator that Evans wasn't like the other kids in their class had been the day that she'd unwittingly changed the colour of his pencil case from blue to red when the greasy haired, hook nosed boy that sat opposite them in English had made fun of her hair. She'd politely asked him if he'd washed recently and James had tried desperately not to laugh.

He'd heard from Jessie Daniels that she'd spent their entire morning break in the girls' toilets crying because she felt guilty. He'd tried to make her feel better by offering her his special green crayon in History and had been pleasantly surprised when she'd quietly accepted.

James had gone home that afternoon with a spring in his step and a grin on his lips. When his parents had commented on his pencil case as he'd been attempting his maths homework (why did Muggle stuff have to be so bloody _complicated?_), he had told them that it was his fault and that he didn't want to change it.

—

Lily stared at the bright red steam engine, her eyes wide and her mouth open. Behind her, her parents were gazing around the platform, their focus shifting incredibly quickly as they attempted to drink everything in. Beside them, Petunia glared at her surroundings and scuffed her feet against the platform as she grumbled about 'having to see the freak off'.

A greasy, dark haired boy, who looked a lot like the one who used to pick on her in primary school, pushed past her. He turned to glare at her when his shoulder hit hers and his eyes widened briefly until she frowned at him. He recovered quickly, sneering nastily at her before stalking after a tall, rail thin woman with hair the same colour as his pulled back into a scraggly bun. The pair of them were heading towards the front of the train and so she span on her heel, determined to stay as far away from the boy as possible.

Saying goodbye to her parents wasn't as difficult as she'd been dreading. That might have been due to Petunia nagging their mum to take her shopping so much that Mrs Evans had sighed in resignation. Lily made it easy for them by giving each of them a quick hug, even her dratted sister, and hopped onto the train, her trunk in tow.

As she was searching for an empty compartment, she'd come across one with two black haired boys who looked about her age. It was the emptiest one she'd found, so she slid the door open and poked her head in, her eyes widening in shock when her brain registered who one of the boys was.

"Potter?" She demanded, stepping fully into the compartment as the train lurched sideways. James Potter, the bane of her last year in primary school, grinned at her and straightened in his seat.

"You made it then, Evans." Was all he said, and she slowly sank onto the bench cushion as the train lurched again. She narrowed her eyes at him and he held up his hands, offering her one that was holding out a purple box towards her.

"You knew? About all of this?" She asked, hesitantly accepting the box and studying it. When she opened it, the frog inside jumped out and hit the compartment door in its attempt to escape.

"Rotten luck. They're usually more docile than that at first." The other boy commented as the frog leapt from the door to the wall and then to the closed window. He pulled a wand out of his sleeve and waved it in the direction of the chocolate. It slowly floated back towards her, its legs kicking in its attempt to jump away and it landed in her lap. "Here."

"Thanks." She said distractedly, her eyes still on the boy's wand.

"Sorry I didn't say anything, Evans." Potter said, drawing her attention back to him. "But there are a bunch of rules about saying anything to Muggles and my parents would have got in a lot of trouble if I had. Muggles are people who can't do magic." He explained at her confused frown.

"But you knew about me?" The other boy opened another chocolate frog, held a card in front of his face for a few seconds and then threw it at Potter.

"I guessed," he corrected, picking up the card and pulling a face in disgust. He put it on a pile next to him and folded his arms across his chest. "I saw the daisies."

Immediately knowing what he was talking about, her shoulders slumped and she gave them a sheepish smile. "I couldn't help it. Sometimes it just happens."

"'S'accidental magic." The long haired boy grinned. "Happens to the best of us. I'm Sirius, by the way. Sirius Black." He offered her his hand, and she took it, smiling back at him.

"I'm Lily." She jerked her head in Potter's direction. "You no doubt know my last name." Sirius' lips quirked upwards, and he coughed to hide his smile.

"So, Evans. Before you came barging in here, I was asking Sirius which house he wanted to be in. Where do you want to go?"

"Gryffindor."


	2. Wolf Moon

**I've decided to just make this a dump for all of the prompts I get from tumblr. Makes for easy reference that way. Prompt for this quick drabble was 'Lily can't fall asleep until James comes back to bed after the full moon'. Chapter title comes from one of the southern hemisphere's names for a full moon in July. And the fic title now comes from The Smiths' song 'There is a light that never goes out'.**

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The house was quiet, the only sound breaking through the silence was Lily breathing gently and her nails tapping against the window sill. She'd been sitting vigil at their bedroom window since the four boys she considered family had gone traipsing off into the woods behind their house. It was stupid, she knew; James wouldn't be back for hours if things went how they were supposed to.

But she'd made them promise to come and get her if anything went wrong, for any of them. And whilst they had been hesitant, they'd agreed. So she waited for her stupid husband and his equally stupid friends to drag their sorry arses through the front door. At which point, she'd be ready with enough potions to open her own apothecary if she so wished.

There was a howl from somewhere in the distance, too low and urgent to have been Remus. Which meant that it was Sirius, and if she hadn't done this every full month for the past two years, she'd have been worried that something was wrong. But she could tell the difference between pain and impatience, and it had definitely belonged to the second category. As it was, she pulled the long sleeves of her jumper further over her hands, and wrapped her arms around her drawn up knees. She idly examined a frayed hole in the elbow of the jumper, right where the red and yellow met and made a mental note to patch it when she had the time.

She glanced at the alarm clock on her night stand, forced to crane her neck painfully to see around the corner of the book blocking her view of the numbers. Sighing at the fact that it was only ten to four, which meant that it'd be another four or five hours before her boys would be back, Lily pulled the thick, fluffy blanket from the back of the rocking chair she was sitting on and drew it around her shoulders. It smelt suspiciously like wet dog and the earth, but it comforted her as she relaxed against the cushions and smothered a yawn with the back of her hand.

James limped through the back door of the house, the ankle he'd twisted getting out of the woods throbbing painfully as he helped manoeuvre Remus into one of the dining chairs. Peter dropped himself into one of the other chairs, his chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath.

"Where's Lily?" Sirius asked as he came into the kitchen, his left eye almost closed from where it had swollen so much. Moony hadn't held back in his anger last night, and it was mostly Sirius who had taken the brunt of it.

"Dunno, mate." James answered honestly, frowning lightly when there was no sound of his wife moving around.

"She's around here somewhere." Sirius said, nodding when his best friend looked at him in confusion. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm in need of a shower and I'm bloody knackered."

He slowly made his way upstairs and heard the bottom step creak when he was on the landing. James got to the top of the narrow stairs as Sirius disappeared into the bathroom and headed in the opposite direction.

He gently eased the door to his and Lily's bedroom open, poking his head around it and scanning the room for red hair. Hazel eyes landed on the sleeping face of his wife next to the window, and he grinned, his lip splitting painfully.

Ignoring the pain, James crept across the room carefully, avoiding the floorboard at the end of the bed that liked to squeak if so much as a piece of dust landed on it. When he reached Lily's side, he crouched down next to her, watching her breathe for a few minutes, taking note of how peaceful she looked when she wasn't worried about fighting a war. He brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear, his thumb brushing her cheek softly.

Lily's breathing hitched as she slowly blinked her eyes open, and James watched in amusement as she tried to focus. Her gaze landed on him and she swore.

"Bollocks!"

"Well, if I knew that's how I'd be welcomed home, I wouldn't have bothered." He grinned when Lily scowled at him.

"Pillock. I wanted to be up when you got back." She muttered, running a hand over her hair to check if it was still in the bun she'd put it in. Satisfied it was, she smiled at him, reaching out to smooth the fringe away from his forehead. "Hi."

"Hi." He grabbed her hand between his own, rubbing his thumb over her fingers. "Missed me then." He commented, nodding towards the old Gryffindor Quidditch jumper she was wearing.

"As if. Why would I miss you? You snore, you leave your crap lying around the house," she ignored his protests that it was also Sirius' crap, "and you're a terrible shag."

"Not what you were saying the other day." James grumbled half-heartedly, leaning forwards to brush his lips against hers.

"You're insufferable, Potter." Lily smiled as she pulled him towards her, her free arm wrapping around his neck as she burrowed her head into his shoulder.

"You love me really, Mrs Potter."


	3. The Cruciatus

**I'm just pumping these out. Written to prompt of 'James finds Lily during rounds sobbing on the floor after being Crucio'd during her rounds. Maybe Lily's POV, And all she could think of was James so she could think of safety?' from come-watchthestars on tumblr. But also written for OTP BC with 'Vicious'/If You Dare with 'Skirmish'.**

* * *

"Look here, boys," Mulciber sneered, pushing off of the wall he'd been leaning on and strutting down the corridor. Avery, Wilkes and Rosier trailed after him, malicious grins spreading across their faces when they realised that she was alone.

Straightening her back, Lily stood her ground, not batting an eye when they stopped a few paces in front of her and attempted to look threatening. "The Mudblood thinks she has a right to be here." As they sniggered amongst themselves, she silently fingered her wand, her brain providing her with so many hand movements and Latin phrases, they all blurred into one.

"Seeing as it's after curfew, and I'm a Prefect, I think you'll find that I _do _have a right to be here. More than any of you, I dare say." She noticed Wilkes and Rosier reaching inside their robes for their wands, and silently cursed the fact that it was the night after a full moon. Remus wasn't up to much of anything in the days leading up to and following one, meaning Lily had been stuck with Emmaline Vance as a patrol partner. Whilst a nice girl, she had the weakest bladder Lily had ever heard of and was constantly going for toilet breaks.

Refusing to be intimidated by a group of narcissistic twats whose collective IQ was no higher than the pond life in the lake, Lily looked their ring leader right in the eye. "I'd tell them to put their wands away, if I were you. We wouldn't want you getting into any more trouble than is absolutely necessary, now would we? How does detention with Filch sound, for being out after hours?" She smiled sweetly, seemingly unaffected when Mulciber loomed forwards, his face mere inches away from hers.

She was vaguely aware of yelling in the distance, her ears picking a voice that sounded suspiciously like Sirius' cursing at someone. She didn't dwell on it too much though; Mulciber and his collection of Slytherin scum had been goading her for a while. Death threats, racial slurs and fairly harmful curses were not uncommon to her and this particular group had been behind most of it.

"I'm not scared of you, Mudblood." Mulciber snarled, moving to grab hold of her by the neck, but before he could blink her wand was out and calmly pointing at his throat, her eyes flashing dangerously at the boys behind him. They backed off, the self-preservation their house was famed for, giving them enough sense not to aggravate her more, and she looked back into cold brown eyes.

"Well, that's your mistake then, isn't it? Because you should be. This _Mudblood _has outperformed and outranked you since we were first years. So thinking that _any _of you stand a chance is incredibly idiotic. Then again, I wouldn't expect anything less from you."

Snarling again, Mulciber spat at her feet and turned on his heel, stalking down the corridor with his lackeys hurrying after him. Without looking back, he left her with "Watch your back, bitch."

Before she had time to process what he'd meant by that, her body was on fire. She felt her knees give out and she slammed onto the stone floor, her teeth clamped into her bottom lip so she wouldn't scream. It felt like white hot knives were piercing her skin from every angle and she could feel a terrible, excruciating pressure building behind her eyes. Lily wasn't sure how long it lasted, but it felt like hours and the pain was so intense her focus narrowed down, the corridor fading into black and whiter, and then simply stopped existing. She forgot where she was, the only thing she was able to concentrate on was how much it hurt and how much she wanted it to stop.

Then everything stopped. The stone walls of the corridor flooded back into her field of vision, she could feel the floor underneath her and she was uncomfortably aware of the fact she was crying. She managed to force her way over to the wall, drawing her knees up so she could wrap her arms around them and bury her face into the crook of her elbow.

Footsteps thundered down the hall, and although she wasn't really paying them any attention, she could make out that there were at least three people coming towards her. Wondering if it was Mulciber and his gang, she lifted her head, ready to defend herself against whatever they might have planned. Instead, she came face to face with James Potter, who was crouching in front of her, concern etched into his features and a frown pulling at his mouth.

"Evans, we saw what happened." He murmured, reaching a hand out to comfort her and then thinking better of it. Slightly disappointed, Lily sniffed and wiped a hand over her eyes.

"Yeah, it was Sn-" Sirius began, abruptly stopping when James gave him a look over his shoulder. There was a dangerous scowl on his face and the knuckles of his wand hand were white.

"It was a Slytherin." Remus picked up easily, resting a hand on her shoulder gently. "We saw them legging it down the stairs."

"We didn't get here in time." Peter muttered guiltily, kicking at the floor sullenly.

"S'okay." Lily said, placing her own shaky hand on Remus' and giving them a strained smile. "Should of seen it coming, really. Wankers, the lot of them."

Sirius snorted, the tension on his face smoothing out, although his hand was still clamped around his wand. "We've been trying to tell you that for years, Evans."

"Yes, well, your methods of _persuasion _weren't exactly the best, were they?" She asked lightly, shifting her weight so as to stand up. Immediately, her body betrayed her, and she swayed on her feet. James didn't hesitate this time, his hands shooting out to hold her up by her shoulders.

"Careful, Evans." He said quietly, his eyes studying her closely and she tried to fight down a blush as she looked back. When he was satisfied she was stable enough, his hands sliding down to her forearms. Seemingly without realising he was doing it, his left thumb started rubbing soothing circles into her skin and she shivered slightly. "You okay to move?"

"I think so." She answered. She swayed again, not as much as before, but enough to be noticeable, and she swore. Sirius and Remus looked away to hide their smiles and behind her, she could hear Peter sniggering. James' lips twitched. "Maybe not."

"Look, this is going to take all night if we don't hurry up." Sirius interjected. "Prongs, mate, just hold her up and walk." He took a few exaggerated steps to demonstrate, grinning when Lily snorted.

James looked at her questioningly and she sighed. "For once in his life, Black's right." She ignored his indignant protests, winking at him quickly. "It'll be easier if someone helps me."

"Tell me if I hurt you, okay?" James said, carefully wrapping an arm around her waist and drawing one of hers across his shoulders. Walking like this was much easier, and although her head was still swimming, she was able to concentrate on what was going on around her.

Remus and Peter had gone on ahead, to check there weren't any other students lingering around. Sirius had decided that the pair of them were moving too slowly for his liking, and had wrapped an arm around Lily's waist from the other side, mimicking James' position.

"You're a good looking bird, Evans." He'd said when she'd raised an eyebrow at him. "I'd have to be an idiot to pass up this opportunity."

James had scoffed in annoyance, glaring at his best friend and then begun glaring at the floor. Sirius had winked at her whilst this happened and she'd been hard-pressed not to giggle.

"You're an idiot anyway." She said, affection lacing her tone and James laughed, muttering a 'well, she's not wrong' when Sirius glanced at him. James had a hold of her hand in order to keep her arm in place, and she threaded her fingers through his and squeezed them gently, smiling her thanks at him. "You're all idiots."


	4. A Bump to the Head

**Hello again. This one took a while, sorry. Written for the prompt 'James is in an accident and forgets he is in a relationship with Lily. He only remembers that she hates him, and gets really confused when he wakes up with her all over him!' from pink-daishies on tumblr. The song Lily's singing in the beginning is _Sugar Girl_ by Blondie.**

* * *

_"Cold as ice cream, still as sweet."_ A voice near his waist was singing quietly. It was the only noise in the room, but in the distance he could hear the sounds of bottles tinkling as they tapped against each other and a stern voice telling someone to stay still. Which meant that he was in the Hospital Wing.

He couldn't see anything, and even if he had wanted to shatter the illusion that the person singing was who he thought it was, he wouldn't have been able to. His eyes felt like they were made of lead and it was like his eyelids had been welded together.

The singing stopped when he rolled his shoulders experimentally and groaned when pain shot down his left arm, his fingers curling slightly. He could hear rustling parchment and the low thud of a book being closed before there was a gentle hand resting on his forehead. The smell of violets and cinnamon filled his nostrils and he inhaled deeply.

"James?" The voice asked hesitantly, and James tried to frown. That voice really did sound exactly like Evans, but what she could be doing at his bedside was beyond him. He lifted a bandaged hand to the bridge of his nose, his attempt at a frown growing when his bare fingers brushed against rough gauze.

"What happened?" He groaned, his arm flopping back down onto the duvet.

"You don't remember?" The person who sounded a lot like Evans was nervous, like this wasn't what she'd been expecting upon him waking up.

"Not really," he hedged, trying to think of what had happened before he'd woken up a few minutes ago. So far his brain wasn't helping much, the only thing coming to mind being the black blur of a bludger flying towards him. "The last thing I remember is being hit by a bludger. I think it was here." He tapped his left temple lightly, wincing when pain tap danced across his forehead.

"Madame Pomfrey said there might be some amnesia. The bludger hit you pretty hard." A hand wrapped itself around his own, fingers beginning to intertwine before he pulled back. Pretending to cough, he didn't miss the small, sad sigh that his visitor let out.

"Look, Evans, - you are Evans, aren't you? - why are you here?" James wanted to know, genuine curiosity lacing his voice. Evans hated him. She'd said as much the other day, when she'd told him she'd rather go on a date with the giant squid in front of what might as well have been the entire school.

"You're my boyfriend, idiot, why wouldn't I be here?" The girl's voice was soft, and James could hear movement, as if she was getting out of the chair she'd been in. The soles of her shoes slapped across the flagstone floor, echoing around the quiet room. It took him a few seconds to register what she'd said, and once he had, he laughed mockingly.

"I don't have a girlfriend. And even if I did, it definitely wouldn't be you, Evans." He hadn't meant that to be as harsh as it had sounded, but before he could take it back, he heard the tell tale sniffle that indicated Evans was about to start crying.

"Then I'm sorry to disappoint you." She said sarcastically, wiping a fist under her nose, and glaring at the figure laying on the bed. He couldn't see her, but that didn't stop her.

"Is this all just some big prank you cooked up with the lads?" James asked with a scoff. "Play a joke on poor, hurt James? Well, s'not funny."

"Potter, if I wanted to play a joke on you, I promise you it wouldn't involve me sitting at your bloody bedside for ten hours." Lily snapped back, unable to stop herself. Madame Pomfrey had warned them when James had first been brought to the Hospital Wing that he may be out of sorts for a while. She'd also told them to treat James like normal, and that the possible amnesia wouldn't last for too long.

"Bollocks. You can barely stand to be in the same room as me for five minutes."

Lily sighed again, swiping at her eyes angrily. This was more difficult than she'd thought it would be. Part of her had refused to entertain the idea that James wouldn't remember their relationship.

"Alright, Potter. I have a suggestion for you. I'll tell you something about yourself that only you should know. Will that satisfy you, you finicky bastard?"

James couldn't stop the snort that escaped, the dimple he hated appearing at the corner of his mouth.

"Go for it, Evans."

"You've got a scar on your bum from when you were a little kid and your cat scratched you. You're insecure about your dimples because your Aunt Druella once told you they meant you had Dragon Pox. Oh, and you have a really weird fixation with cassette tapes."

James' mouth was slack by the time she'd finished and she bit back a satisfied smile.

"James, I _promise_ this isn't a joke. I'd never do something like to anyone, let alone you." Lily reached for his hand again, hesitating just before she touched him. Her eyes were on his face and so she didn't notice him reaching out for her. When his fingers wrapped gently around hers, she jumped, and undignified squeak leaving her mouth and he grinned in her direction.

"Okay, Evans. I'll believe you. But only because you're too nice."

She scoffed, rolling her eyes towards the arched ceiling. When he eventually remembered everything, he'd more than likely take those words back.

As Lily absent-mindedly stroked a thumb over his knuckles, James was left feeling an odd sense of familiarity. He trusted Evans; she'd never lied to him and had always told him exactly how she felt. Which meant that what she said was almost definitely true. Trouble was, he didn't remember, no matter how hard he tried to.

-xoxo-

Five days later had James out of the Hospital Wing and entrusted to the loving care of his best friend. Sirius had come to get him, growing increasingly irritable when Madame Pomfrey had insisted on checking James over one last time.

"About sodding time." He grumbled once they were finally released. They were headed towards Gryffindor Tower, taking as many short-cuts as possible. As they came out of a hidden passage, he glanced at his best mate. "Do you really not remember anything from the last two years, Prongs?"

"Bits and pieces." James answered vaguely, internally grinning. He wasn't going to mention that Lily tasted like chocolate, peppermint and strawberries. Nor was he going to mention that he remembered the incident in fifth year with Snape and Moony. Sirius had been miserable for the past few days, he wasn't going to make it worse.

"Like what?" Padfoot challenged with a grin.

"Like the fact you're a complete pillock." When Sirius reached out to swat at his head, James ducked with a grin. "I also recall the two months worth of detention I got last year for your clever idea of bewitching the bog roll in the second floor toilets."

Sirius stopped trying to hit him and smiled. "That was a bloody brilliant prank, Prongs, and you know it."

"Well, yeah. I was the one that fine tuned it into a masterpiece. You're just the twat who wanted to scare some first years." He didn't move in time and the palm of the slightly shorter male's hand slapped into his shoulder.

"Shut up. I'll have you know, the Marauders would never have reached this level of infamous popularity and respect without me."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Pads." James answered, coming to a stop outside of the portrait of the Fat Lady. He waited for Sirius to mutter the password and then jostled his friend out of the way so he could get into the Common Room first.

Lily was sat at one of the tables in front of the fire, her back leaning against Remus' legs as he showed her something in the book he was holding. There was another book lying on the table, ink splotches decorating one of the corners. A piece of parchment next to it almost completely covered in her handwriting, and from the small picture of a cauldron it was decided that they were doing Potions.

The two boys moved in sync, eating up the floor in a few strides and dropping down next to their friends. Sirius collapsed onto the sofa with a dramatic sigh, kicking his shoes off and digging his toes into James' shoulder. James lowered himself onto the floor beside his girlfriend, swatting at Sirius' feet.

"You got here in one piece, then?" Lily asked with a grin, patting Sirius' knee when he huffed at her.

"Barely, Padfoot almost got me killed at least twice."

"That second time was _not _my fault! It's not my fault you're the actual definition of clumsy. Nor is it my fault that that second year was there." Sirius countered quickly, looking to Remus for help.

"But the first time was?" Moony asked instead, closing his book and placing it on the arm of the sofa.

James left them to bicker between themselves, reaching out to carefully entwine his fingers with Lily's. When she looked up at him in hopeful confusion he offered her a smile. He leant over to kiss her on the forehead, his smile widening when the scent of cinnamon filled his nostrils.

"Prongs,' Sirius complained in a pained voice, 'we've talked about this. No public displays of affection unless you're willing to share with everyone."

"Later, dear." James answered, turning to wink at the two Marauders who were sniggering quietly.


End file.
